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Choice Theory Overview

July24

from the William Glasser Institute homepage
 
Choice Theory states that all we do is behave, that almost all behavior is chosen, and that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun. In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs. Choice Theory (and the Seven Caring Habits) is offered to replace external control psychology (and the Seven Deadly Habits), the present psychology of almost all the people in the world. Unfortunately, this forcing, punishing psychology is destructive to relationships. When used in a relationship it will always destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship, and will result in people becoming disconnected from those with whom they want to be connected. Disconnectedness is the source of almost all human problems, such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal and child abuse, to mention a few.

 
Seven Caring Habits
Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences

 
Seven Deadly Habits
Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Bribing or rewarding to control

 
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
1.  The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
2.  All we can give another person is information.
3.  All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
4.  The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
5.  What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
6.  We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
7.  All we do is behave.
8.  All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
9.  All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.

posted under old stuff
One Comment to

“Choice Theory Overview”

  1. Avatar December 4th, 2005 at 6:43 pm Mary Says:

    I really like how the choice theory is laid out here. Where does the choice theory originate? I think you might be on to something with blog therapy. By the way, your daughter is adorable. My blog is revreallyreal.blospot.com


 
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Allison
Los Alamos, NM
After a childhood of immersion in my family's religious tradition, I hit college and my first true experience with the question, "why?" Why did I believe as I did? If I thought about it, I had no idea. So, I spent the next ten years not thinking about it.

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Once I hit 30, I began asking myself that question all over again. A few years later, I woke one day to realize that I simply didn't believe. For many reasons, I am a much happier (and more emotionally healthy) person having let go of god. There are still days that I wish god did exist. It would be a relief to relinquish responsibility to a greater power.

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But, even better, I can see life for what it is, and work with reality. That's more powerful than any god could hope to be.