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Going Solo

March29

On All Things Considered today:

Think Partnered Parenting Is Hard? Try Going Solo

by Lori Gottlieb

All Things Considered, March 29, 2006 ยท Commentator Lori Gottlieb is a single mother. Most of her friends who are moms are married. And that’s where the trouble begins. Gottlieb is tired of hearing them whine about how awful their husbands are.

I can completely relate. As much as I love my online group (all our kids were due the same month), I do remember that the Fall of 2004 was filled with complaints. I definitely got a bird’s-eye view of how difficult it must be to become new parents together…not only are you adjusting to a new role, you’re also completely redefining your relationship with your partner.

Where Gottlieb gripes about how these women should feel lucky — that’s where she gripes instead of complaining about her “dh” — I found that *I* felt lucky in those early days. Yes, I was tired. Exhausted, actually…and there were nights that I’d sit in bed crying after Maya had (yet again) spit up everything she’d just eaten all over the bed. But, I’d get up and re-make the bed, and move on.

Not having someone else to pin my woes on honestly made parenting simpler for me. If there was a problem, it came back to me…no blame game required. Just thinking…

posted under motherhood, single motherhood
2 Comments to

“Going Solo”

  1. Avatar April 1st, 2006 at 11:22 am rick Says:

    “Space” is healthy and good… nothing to clutter one’s time. :)


  2. Avatar April 1st, 2006 at 11:24 am rick Says:

    Please excuse the previosu comment, it belongs under your “FREEDOM” post. Sorry.
 
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Allison
Los Alamos, NM
After a childhood of immersion in my family's religious tradition, I hit college and my first true experience with the question, "why?" Why did I believe as I did? If I thought about it, I had no idea. So, I spent the next ten years not thinking about it.

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Once I hit 30, I began asking myself that question all over again. A few years later, I woke one day to realize that I simply didn't believe. For many reasons, I am a much happier (and more emotionally healthy) person having let go of god. There are still days that I wish god did exist. It would be a relief to relinquish responsibility to a greater power.

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But, even better, I can see life for what it is, and work with reality. That's more powerful than any god could hope to be.