Lunch (post-mortem)
It was good — really good. Maya accompanied me (at this age, I have no problem with her hanging out with mama and a friend — and she’s actually a good jerk-filter), and we enjoyed a leisurely lunch, followed by a slow (then fast, then slow, then fast — like I said, Maya was with me) walk through Garden of the Gods. At time to say goodbye, there was a short kiss, and talk of meeting up again one-on-one. I believed him.
By the time I’d gone shopping for my nephew’s birthday present, returned home, and changed clothing to go hang out with my family, he’d already emailed with some very sweet words about what he enjoyed most about me (“how you are with your daughter” was among them), and giving his free times for a second meetup. From the word “go,” this man has been direct. There’s no BS, no waiting game, and follow through by doing exactly what he says he’s going to do. I love that. There’s attraction. There are common interests, to the point where he even “gets” where I come from where religion/Christianity are concerned.
So what’s the problem?
(You know me. There has to be something.)
Two things:
- He has no desire/intention to ever marry again. Long term relationship/partnership? Fine. Marriage? Not so much.
- He’s had a vasectomy.
Over the past weeks, especially with the birth of my nephew last weekend, I’ve felt it. IT. The biological clock. Tick-tock-tick-tock. What the…? I’ve never been one to get baby lust before, but it hit me. And, I realize that the possibility of having a second child is something important to me. This man has two kids, and the big V was a last-ditch effort he and his ex made at salvaging their marriage. I respect that…but I’m not sure how I feel about it for myself.
Marriage. I hadn’t realized how important that was to me (versus a long-term partnership). But it is. I think I’d rather remain single than be in something that nebulous.
What’s a girl to do?
I will see him again. I’ll keep these thoughts in mind. But I’ll also continue to look.
.
1) Vasectomies are reversible.
2) Don’t treat the no marriage remark as if it’s irreversibly etched in stone. When my wife and I were first seeing one another (18 years ago), we had “the talk,” in which we both sincerely explained to each other that neither of us was looking for a serious, long term relationship. We both meant it. We were engaged 6 months later, and married 7 months after that.
I linked to your website from your comment at Pharyngula. It’s nice to hear that there are a few liberals besides myself in the Springs! Anyway, I don’t know when you had your lunch date in Garden of the Gods, but if it was yesterday, we might have crossed paths. I was in the park from 12-3pm yesterday. Although, since your post didn’t mention getting soaked in afternoon rainstorms, I’m guessing you probably weren’t in the park at the same time as myself. I did manage to get a nice snapshot of the Siamese Twins rock formation.
Dorsey: Thanks for the encouragement. I’m making arrangements to have Maya hang with her grandma on Tuesday, so I think I’ll be going out. (grin) Only time will tell…but dear lord, it’s been a long time since I’ve been “really” involved with a man. Eeek.
Fred: Dude, we *just* missed each other. I clearly recall hearing the 3pm Dr. Science on the drive over to GotG from lunch at Marigold on Centennial. We could have crossed paths in other ways before that — until April 1998, I lived in Houston, and I used to rollerblade from my place (near HMNS) down North/South Boulevard to the Rice Village area. I’m still mourning the Thai food at Patu. Oh, and Star Pizza. My kingdom for a deep dish Joe’s with feta added. violently shaking self out of food reverie
Have you ever gone to the local Drinking Liberally? I’ve considered it, but just haven’t ever cleared my schedule. Maybe next week…
I agree with Dorsey! He sounds like a great guy, and I hope things continue to go well!
Hey, glad lunch was nice. I’m very glad you found someone nice. Bummer on the 2 issues, but ditto the above posters…