It’s a weird feeling to discover a new “old friend” on facebook, just to experience a visceral memory of feelings from during the time that we were friends. As much fun as I supposedly had in my 20s, I sure am getting a rush of anxiety, longing-to-fit-in, wanting to measure up, and fear of rejection.
There are times that I look back at the person I was during my last few years in Houston, and I’m deeply embarrassed for her.
.
.
Once I hit 30, I began asking myself that question all over again. A few years later, I woke one day to realize that I simply didn't believe. For many reasons, I am a much happier (and more emotionally healthy) person having let go of god. There are still days that I wish god did exist. It would be a relief to relinquish responsibility to a greater power.
.
But, even better, I can see life for what it is, and work with reality. That's more powerful than any god could hope to be.
No need to be embarrassed!
I would say that who you were in those days was entirely appropriate for someone in her 20′s. Maybe you did some embarrassing things for silly reasons and tried to impress some unimpressive people.
But what was attractive about you then is still true today. You’re still fun and willing to let people into your life (risk of rejection be damned). And you still dance when Bob Marley’s *Legend* is playing.
We are long overdue an IM or phone call! Love,
My previous comment doesn’t read as good as it sounded in my head. I should add that I also feel anxiety about having friends from way back when “see” me now on FB. I wonder if we all feel it. Except for Chris. I don’t think he’s wired that way, but maybe.